What's French For Ew?

Spring break arrives, and that means it’s time for Emily to brush up on her sadly lacking French language skills. Emily, however, has much more important plans for her time—she is determined to keep the interest of her boyfriend Devon, and what better place to storm his Bastille than Paris? Unfortunately her attempts to conquer strange French cuisine, Devon—and oh, yes, there’s that little thing about learning the language—end up in what a popular Paris magazine calls a total disaster…

Subject: Emily’s Handy Phrases For Spring Break in Paris
1. J’apprendrais par coeur plutot le Klingon qu’essaye d’apprendre le francais en deux semaines. I would rather memorize Klingon than try to learn French in two weeks.
2. Vous voulez que je mange un escargot? You want me to EAT a snail?!?
3. Vous etes nummy, mais mon petit ami est le roi des hotties, et il vient a Paris seulement pour me voir! You are nummy, but my boyfriend is the king of hotties, and he’s coming to Paris just to see me!